Sunday Scribblings: My Shoes
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is to write about my shoes. For those of you who know me well, you know that this is an interesting topic for me. So I’ll just jump into it!
One of my funniest airport experiences happened the day I arrived back from the United States. I had three huge suitcases with me, and I was trying to haul them into the scanner at the Indonesian customs. I was approached by the custom officer. He signaled for me to move out of the line. He asked if he could take a look at the insides of one of my suitcases. I had nothing to hide, so I said yes. I immediately knew the reason why I was stopped. I laugh just thinking about it.
The custom officer slowly unzipped my suitcase and carefully opened it to reveal the entire suitcase chock full of shoes. Flats and pumps and open toed shoes and closed toed shoes and boots and booties and espadrilles and wedges. I could tell from the look on his face that the custom officer was impressed. Either that, or he thought I was crazy. Maybe a little of both. He took a closer look and realized that an importer that was trying to skirt through the custom laws. I was a girl with a big shoe problem. The suitcase was full of shoes. My shoes. They’re all a size 10. They’re all used. Needless to say, I was released to go on my merry way, with my suitcase full of shoes.
I own 98 pairs of shoes. I’m two shy of a hundred. Oh look! I have a goal in life. People would ask me, all while looking quite bewildered, “Why do you own so many pairs of shoes?” Let me take some time and unpack the deep-seated ideas that have ruled my footwear spending budget for years!
In 2006, I moved to Seattle with two big suitcases and four pairs of shoes. That sounds reasonable for a freshman in college. By my college graduation, I owned 50 pairs. Yes, yes. No need to remind me. I do have a problem.
I think the first reason why the purchasing of shoes is a value to me is because they’re pretty. I know it’s a very simple answer to what might be a complicated question, but I can’t deny that it’s true. My wardrobe is often quite monochromatic. I wear a lot of black. The combination of black and jeans is my go-to outfit for just about everything. Some people love wearing colorful scarves. Others love wearing hats to offset or add a dash of color to the otherwise bleak color scheme of their outfits. For me, shoes are the ways I express color and style and a little bit of pizzazz. While I’m much more comfortable wearing black, I thoroughly enjoy wearing neon pink wedges and gold sandals. I own several different styles of red pumps. I even have yellow pumps. Yellow! (It’s not a color I wear on other parts of my self.
Another reason why I own a lot of shoes probably can be summed up by a quote from the movie, In Her Shoes.
When I feel bad, I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good. Food just makes me fatter. Shoes always fit.
Praise Jesus I now struggle less in trying to love myself and accept my body. I have come a long way since college. But this quote? Was always in the back of my mind. Clothes sometimes just get me frustrated I end up not buying the clothes I needed. My relationship with food was weird to say the least. It has since gotten better, especially in the last six months. But shoes? Shoes always fit. Shoes don’t disappoint.
Alright all you psychology majors. That last statement from the last paragraph probably made your psychology senses tingle.
Ok. The third reason why I own a lot of shoes is because I didn’t have a hard time finding shoes (or clothes) that fit in the United States. They were cheaper too! The stores in Indonesia often don’t care my size, thus less buying shoes here. I acquired most of my shoes while I was living in the United States.
Today, as I write this, living in the time of Covid-19 have thoroughly changed my outfit selections every day. I don’t even wear proper shoes for most of the time. My flip flops are my most used footwear. No heels. No bright colors. No unique textures. No unique shapes. Just a pair of black flip flops.
I really don’t know what that says about my personality or current situation. Maybe I’m maturing. Maybe it’s a sign I have good dependable relationships now and that I won’t need shoes to be dependable. That’s definitely a possibility. Whatever it is, I realize that shoes are fun! And I really hope this pandemic stops so I can wear my heels again.
Just a thought.
May 31, 2020
